Ok so today I’m feeling a bit precious, I’m trying not to talk too much about the miscarriage, this is meant to be a positive outlet and a positive change for me, but as much as I’m programmed to be a ‘coper’ and to get over things, I’m human and losing another baby was shocking and painful. Today I have to have a blood test so the doctors can see if I’m showing any HCG hormone , which would indicate ‘something’ is still ‘in there’. I’ve had the baby I lost last Monday referred to as product and tissue over the last week, something? Would saying ‘someone’ be more appropriate? Probably not, anyway I’m pretty confident my body has done well in removing all trace of said ‘something’, at least it has in the past, miscarrying is something I do quite well – that comment produces looks of shock and discomfort from doctors but I can’t help but try to introduce humour into every situation no matter how grim or inappropriate.
Over the weekend I did a lot of looking into PCOS and miscarriage on the internet. It’s been years since I’ve looked and now they say women with PCOS do appear to have more chance of having a miscarriage, 45% more chance, which is pretty huge, but they don’t know why. WHY NOT??? If I had a why, I feel like I could avoid it next time you know? What they do advise, is eating pretty much like I am, exercise, and stress reduction… plus some drugs that I’ve never heard of and will be asking my doctor about.
So I’m on the right track right? I make a smoothie. Today I add chia seeds, flaxseeds, almonds, walnuts and cashews (that I’ve soaked), plus a couple of leaves of collard greens from the garden. Grim. My little one wants to taste it, it’s such an interesting colour! She takes a sip. Says “nut” proudly, which is a new word for her. And happily gives me back the glass, preferring her kefir, berries and banana smoothie that I whipped up for her.
For lunch I eat the leftover baked ratatouille from last night. Then for dinner I feel like something rich so we have my version of surf and turf. NZ scallops quickly fried in butter, beef medallions on the bbq, topped off with a browned butter garlic and caper sauce. I gently fry a chopped leek in butter with a few cloves of garlic, once it’s soft I add in my beautiful rainbow beets that I’ve sliced up and washed. I add the lid onto the pan and turn down the heat, stirring them occasionally so nothing sticks and mixing them in with the leeks. They only take a few minutes to soften and they’re ready to eat. For the rest of the family I make a little mashed potato. I should probably apologise for my photos now, it’s not my strong suit. Presentation of food is not something I’m good at either, at school in home economics, a compulsory class that was meant to teach us how to cook, my teacher told me my offerings looked as though they’d been run over by a lawn mower – thanks Mrs whatever your name was, that gave me SO much confidence, not!
Those quick carbs like potato, pasta, rice are all handy for filling up the plate, but I’ve been relying on them a little too much since doing this challenge. My husband is tall and slim, we call him snake hips. He has one of those body types that has trouble keeping weight on. Our eldest daughter is similar to me in personality type: feels emotions strongly, gets the ‘h-anger’ if she doesn’t eat regularly and has an extremely sweet tooth. Worryingly she also complains of heachaches or a tender head sometimes which is how I feel tension headaches. I wonder if she has my mystery blood sugar defect too, so without eliminating any food types or being too restrictive, I do watch her diet and response to food like a hawk. I only cook one evening meal a day, and we all try to eat together if dad gets home on time. Unless the meal is a dog (and that does happen), I expect the kids to eat what we’re eating. After having a difficult time getting two year old India to eat real food, I eliminated snacks because she was living on crackers and other fillers. It was hard, especially her being our first child, eating and thriving is so emotionally charged for us parents right? We tried to keep things light and fun at the dinner table but we did make it a rule that everything must be tried, and we found that if she was hungry she would eat what was on offer. Now I think she eats pretty well, she’ll happily gobble down salad and other greens every night. She has snacks now she’s at school. At 10am the children eat what the school calls ‘brain food’. School says this is not the time for heavy carbs, so I pack something like this
…whatever raw veg is seasonal with some nuts and dried fruit (today I added a few fresh blueberries because I had them). I try to choose sweet veg like capsicum, snow peas or sugar snaps, plus when it’s growing I add things like cucumber and tomato. I can’t do the same thing day in and day out or she just stops eating it and winter is harder than summer when the garden is producing so much more variety. I’ve just started dehydrating my own produce, so the dried apple ring and figs shown are my own. My two year old also has this every morning, she likes to be just like her big sister. When they’re eating veg like this in the morning and again with dinner I don’t worry so much if their lunch includes sandwiches or wholegrain pasta, but I try to avoid supermarket bread except for maybe one day a week. I’m always looking for alternatives and have trawled the internet and taken out multiple books for inspiration, what do you have for your lunch?
Thanks for reading, Lila x